Friday, June 22, 2012

Episode 50: I want to hear your voices!

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Art by Angela Treat Lyon
There is solid evidence for the fact that when women speak more than 30 percent of the time, men perceive them as dominating the conversation; well, similarly, if, say, two women in a row get one of the big annual literary awards, masculine voices start talking about feminist cabals, political correctness, and the decline of fairness in judging. The 30 percent rule is really powerful. If more than one woman out of four or five won the Pulitzer, the PEN/Faulkner, the Booker—if more than one woman in ten were to win the Nobel literature prize—the ensuing masculine furore would devalue and might destroy the prize. Apparently, literary guys can only compete with each other. Put on a genuine equal competitive footing with women, they get hysterical. They just have to have their voices heard 70 percent of the time.      —Ursula Le Guin The Wave in the Mind (Off the Page: Loud Cows; pages 119-120).

Cost: I'm assuming you've got a computer with internet connection, so the only other costs to start up your podcast are a headset with microphone (about $30) and the Pamela software (also about $30), if you want to record multiple voice conversations. Depending on how much your headset costs, you'll spend $55-$70 total to start your podcast. Everything else is FREE.

Record & Edit:
  • Audacity: In addition to recording, you can also cut sections out, amplify sound, have multiple tracks that fade in and out of each other, remove noise, etc.
  • Skype: Allows you to interview long-distance for free, as long as you both have a Skype account. You can have regular two-person conversations or whole groups.
  • Pamela ($32.41): Allows you to easily record panels from Skype. They have a free version, but it only allows you to record for 15 minutes at a time. I recommend the Professional version, which also gives you a free trial so you can see if you like it.
  • Levelator: Equalizes the "loudness" of each voice in a conversation. Great for interviews and panel discussions.  
Royalty Free Music:
  • Kevin MacLeod: He puts his music in genre groups and allows for free use and modification as long as you attribute.
File Share:
  • Dropbox: Lets you collect and share files. 
Audio Host:
  • Free public hosting with easy user interface; also increases how you can be found online. There are listeners who found this podcast through

Episode 49: Passing the Torch

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There are so many women from all over the world, both in and out of Mormonism who listen to this podcast. Each of you has much to share. Every week I get emails from you, telling me about your life journeys, about your pain and triumphs, about how one of the episodes on the podcast helped you or validated you. Many of you have sent me ideas for podcasts, too. Because, really, for women’s issues in religion, there is endless territory to cover. In these episodes I’ve done, I haven’t even scratched the surface.

There is so, so much still to be spoken. I want to hear your voices. I want to hear your stories. And there is more out there than I could ever cover. I’ve known this time was coming, and now it’s finally here.

It’s time for me to move on from this podcast. It's time for me to turn my heart energies elsewhere. It’s time for me to pass the torch to you.

In the final episode, I’ll give you a tutorial about how to create a podcast.
Art by Jan Morgan Wood

Friday, June 8, 2012

Episode 48: The Pain of Patriarchy: "To Create an Equal World"

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In this episode from The Pain of Patriarchy series, Katrina shares her experience.

Child's Drawing for a Better and Gender Equal World

Episode 47: The Pain of Patriarchy: "Seen As Less Than"

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In this episode from The Pain of Patriarchy series, Tiffany shares her experience.

Art by Tertius Alio

Episode 46: The Pain of Patriarchy: "Their Fruits Don't Nourish Me"

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In this episode from The Pain of Patriarchy series, Sara shares her experience.

Image location

Episode 45: The Pain of Patriarchy: "Possibly Condemned"

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In this episode from The Pain of Patriarchy series, Courtney shares her experience.
Art by James Christensen

Episode 44: The Pain of Patriarchy: "A Structural Flaw"

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In this episode from The Pain of Patriarchy series, Amelia shares her experience.

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Episode 43: The Pain of Patriarchy: "An Iceberg Beneath"

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Photograph by Jonathan Green
About a year ago, I recorded a piece about the pain I feel from being raised under patriarchy. I never had the courage to post it because it felt so vulnerable. It wasn't until a friend of mine expressed her pain at awakening to the crushing weight of patriarchy that I revisited that recording and shared it with her. Together, we decided to create a series about the pain of patriarchy, as this is an experience that is common to many women in the church. This episode contains my original recording.

In the following episodes for this series, you will hear the voices of Amelia, Courtney, Sara, Tiffany, and Katrina. Each of these women gives a different perspective and voice to her journey.

Below, you can also hear an added male perspective from Gail.

The Pain of Patriarchy: "The Men Give the Equality to the Women" — Gail

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*As always, thanks to Kevin MacLeod for the music.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Episode 42: "Elementally You" — Depression & Mormon Women Part III

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Art by Jarosław Kubick
In the final segment of our discussion, we talk about ways we hid our depression or magnified our depression (what made things worse) and ways we helped our depression (what made things better).

The panelists will be watching the comments to respond to questions.

Here is a summary of the resources and other things that helped us.

  • Name the problem
  • Identify root causes (often things from the past) and work through them
  • Figure out what triggers depressive episodes
  • Remove triggers (get out of situations that make things worse)
  • Build relationship spaces where you can find happiness and peace and emotional strength ("family" by choice)
  • Choose your spirituality and interaction with the church
  • Get out of overly-stressful or abusive situations and take care of yourself
  • Become an advocate, speak up
  • Journal writing and blogging
  • Writing in supportive communities (online forums)
  • Creating: Art, music (eg. playing piano), dance (eg. choreography), crochet, etc.
  • Therapy, working through the past
  • Movement
  • Breathing
  • Focusing on sensory input from the five senses to come to the present moment
  • Yoga
  • Energy healing: BodyTalk
  • Getting out to the things that are "elementally you" (eg. hike the petroglyphs)
  • Spend time outdoors, get outside when the spiral down starts
  • Using prayer as contemplative reflection
  • Identifying the good and the beautiful
  • Massage and chiropractic
  • Hot showers
  • Light therapy and vitamin D
  • Reading books on topics that pertain to your hurt

Food Related
  • GAPS diet
  • Candida Cleanse
  • Eating potatoes before bed (with no protein) to help to raise serotonin levels

Books, Audio, and Online Resources

Episode 41: "Walking the Labyrinth" — Depression & Mormon Women Part II

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Art by Karim Fakhoury
In the second part of this panel discussion, Sybil, Amelia, Jenne A, Lisa, and Kendhal discuss situational vs chemical depression, accepting and owning their depression, and vivid dreams that lead to understanding aspects of the self.

We also talk about the mentality of "there's one right way to deal with this" and how that doesn't work with depression; how there is a need to find what works for you, moment to moment.

We then discuss medication and depression and the stigmas attached both to taking it and not taking it, trying to find medication that works, weaning off medications. We also talk about therapy.

To comment and for resources, please see Part III.

Episode 40: "Be Yourself (within certain parameters)" — Depression & Mormon Women Part I

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Art by Adam Martinakis
Despite how common depression is, there is a lot of denial and secrecy attached to it. In this panel, Sybil is joined by panelists Amelia and Jenne A, and guests Lisa and Kendahl to discuss their experiences in living with depression.

In this first part, we discuss depression in Utah and how  the idea of being a perfect Mormon woman can contribute to depression. We also talk about our own symptoms of depression. Here is a list of those symptoms:

Symptoms of Depression
  • apathy and detachment; difficulty connecting with the living world and being a part of what is happening
  • a sense of powerlessness
  • inward blaming, self-faulting, feeling worthless
  • excessive sleeping; also insomnia or difficulty sleeping; being highly self-critical
  • physical numbness or pain
  • asthma and breathing problems
  • mental darkness; feeling under a low ceiling
  • difficulty getting out of bed
  • self isolation; being tense and withdrawn
  • irritable bowel syndrome
  • migraines
  • feeling like the body is falling apart; feeling old and in pain
  • constant hopelessness; feeling unable to make life feel worthwhile
  • eating too much or too little
  • disrupted daily living
  • being mean/angry at people you love
  • helpless crying
  • absence of appetite (for food, sex, things that usually bring pleasure)
  • escaping (into food, television, books, etc.)
  • inability to concentrate or focus; inability to "get things done" (normal, daily things)
  • being emotionally numb or overly dramatic (no middle ground or normal functioning)
  • being an appendage to someone else, not able to be the main character in own life (things happening to you rather than being an active agent)
  • feeling suicidal 
To comment and for resources, please see Part III.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Episode 39: Childless by Choice Part II

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In the second part of the discussion, Sybil, Amy, and Shelby talk about how they've thought being mothers and alternatives to bearing children.

* By having this conversation, we are in no way saying that motherhood or children are wrong or undesirable. We are only expressing our own experiences.

For resources and references, and to comment on this panel discussion, please see Part I.

Episode 38: Childless by Choice Part I

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Image location
Because motherhood and having children are such an intrinsic part of the way women are defined in the church, trying to have a conversation among those who have chosen not to have children ... it can be difficult. In some ways, child-free women can feel marginalized and/or invisible in the church because they aren't "fulfilling their purpose" as a mother.

In this panel discussion, Sybil is joined by guest panelists Amy and Shelby to talk about their experiences as women who have currently chosen not to have children. They also discuss how they remain childless, their fears and thoughts about motherhood, and more.

* By having this conversation, we are in no way saying that motherhood or children are wrong or undesirable. We are only expressing our own experiences.

The panelists will be watching the comments to respond to ideas and issues brought up in this discussion. 


"One of our family members recently overheard a young couple on an airline flight explaining that they chose to have a dog instead of children. 'Dogs are less trouble,' they declared. 'Dogs don’t talk back, and we never have to ground them.' We rejoice that so many Latter-day Saint couples are among that unselfish group who are willing to surrender their personal priorities and serve the Lord by bearing and rearing the children our Heavenly Father sends to their care. (from "Unselfish Service" by Dallin Oaks)

"How can mothers justify their abandonment of home when they are needed so much by their offspring? Rationalization must take over as they justify themselves in leaving home and children." (from Faith Precedes the Miracle by Spencer W. Kimball, pages 116-17.)

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Episode 37: Re-Visioning the Garment Symbols

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Art by Mara Berendt Friedman
Sometimes our thirst for divine reflection of our gender can lead us to fascinating places. In this panel discussion our panelists Jenne A and Jenni B are joined by their friends Jena and Genevieve to present an interpretation of the garment symbols that includes the Divine Feminine. In addition to the meaning they give the symbols, they have also created daily rituals that help them to connect to their garments in a positive way.

The panelists will be watching the comments to respond to ideas and to elaborate on the symbolism and practices they share in the discussion. 

Resources and References
Two Facebook Groups that Happened as a Result of this Panel Discussion
  • Wildly Speculative (Feminist) Mormon Theology 
  • Mormon Moon Circle: Once a month on the new moon this group (which includes the women from the panel discussion) hold a "live" meeting where they explore and enhance their spirituality by sharing experiences or epiphanies they’ve had, and doing a group visualization/meditation and prayer circle.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Episode 36: The Descent of the Wounded Soul

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Christ of the Abyss
Special Episode for Easter: There are so many of us who hide our wounded souls, fearful that others will see our pain. Often we are drowned in feelings of hopelessness and despair of ever healing.

In this short episode, I give my own interpretation of Christ's atonement and resurrection. In my view, he is showing us the path of our own healing. When Christ said, "Come follow me," perhaps he was showing us the way into our own darkness. 

Isaiah Reference: Isaiah 61:3

Please share your own experiences of wounding and healing in the comments. Please also feel free to share things that have helped you on your journey.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Episode 35: "Connected to this Life" — Jenne's Story Part II

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Photo Credit
Part of the aim of this podcast is to give voice to our stories as Daughters of Mormonism. This episode is an interview with Jenne, one of our panelists.

In this interview she talks about her journey toward finding her voice as an advocate and discovering her personal mode of spirituality. Jenne began as a Unitarian Universalist, later converting to LDS church in the aftermath of her father's death. Now she calls herself a Universalist Mormon Pagan, and she reaches out with her heart and abilities to help women with childbirth and trauma as she connects to this life through her children.

For resources and to comment, please see Part I.

Episode 34: "Connected to this Life" — Jenne's Story Part I

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Jenne will be watching the comments to respond to the ideas brought up in her interview.

Resources and References
Special thanks to Carolyn Erigero for taking care of "cute but determined" during the recording of this interview.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Episode 33: Garments—To Cover Our Nakedness

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1927 Garment Ad
Once you're endowed, wearing garments is meant to be a life-long commitment and is a sign of an active member of the church. Have you ever looked at someone to try to determine if they were wearing garments or caught someone checking you out to see if you were wearing them? Beyond their symbolism, garments come to mean many things to women who wear them. In this short panel discussion, Sybil, Jenni B, and Katrina talk about their experiences with garments.