Episode 33: Garments—To Cover Our Nakedness

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1927 Garment Ad

Once you're endowed, wearing garments is meant to be a life-long commitment and is a sign of an active member of the church. Have you ever looked at someone to try to determine if they were wearing garments or caught someone checking you out to see if you were wearing them? Beyond their symbolism, garments come to mean many things to women who wear them. In this short panel discussion, Sybil, Jenni B, and Katrina talk about their experiences with garments.

Episode 32: "Not Suffering" — Opening Sexual Identity

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Art by Randi Johns

In the recent past, there was only one sexual identity: Heterosexual. It was the norm in such a way that there wasn't really any space in the collective understanding for alternate sexual identities. Today, sexual identity has become a place of discovery, controversy, and question, bringing in terms like gay, lesbian, homosexual, bi-sexual, and transsexual. Julia identifies herself as queer, which is not so much a sexual identity as an approach to sexuality that leaves the "box" wide open. She talks about the freedom that comes from being in a safe place to exist as she is.

Julia will be watching the comments to respond to the ideas brought up in her interview.

As you leave comments, remember that Daughters of Mormonism seeks to provide a safe place for women to share their stories. This is a real story from a real person. Please see the Comment Policy for further details. 

Resources and References

• Queer and Questioning Blog
• PDF download of Trans/gender 101: Terms and Explanations
  
• Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network
• PDF download for Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network "Guide to Being an Ally"
  
• TransChristians
• Affirmation
  
• Gender Trouble by Judith Butler
• Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us by Kate Bornstein
• Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation by Kate Bornstein
• "Cleansing the Inner Vessel" by Boyd K. Packer RECORDED VIDEO
• "Cleansing the Inner Vessel" by Boyd K. Packer EDITED TRANSCRIPT
• ABC News article on the edit  
• Quote from The Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W. Kimball about masturbation leading to homosexuality: "Thus prophets anciently and today condemn masturbation [...] it too often leads to grievous sin, even to that sin against nature, homosexuality. For, done in private, it evolves often into mutual masturbation--practiced with another person of the same sex and thence into total homosexuality."

Episode 31: Good Girl Syndrome Part II

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Image Location

Many of us learned to be "good girls," meaning that we understood that our purpose was to please others and not to please ourselves. Layered in with this teaching were messages about sex and sexuality.

We didn't want to be chewed gum or a licked cupcake. We wanted to keep ourselves safe from the sexual urges of the opposite sex. And, of course, not to be sexual ourselves; that was associated with sinning.

While these messages were likely intended to keep us safe, they did so at a cost,
which usually reveals itself in the marriage
bed. What does a good girl do with sex?

Join Sybil, Amelia, Sara, Heather, and Jenni for the second half of their discussion about their experiences with and the causes and effects of Good Girl Syndrome.

For resources and to comment, please see Part I.

Episode 30: Good Girl Syndrome Part I

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Join Sybil, Amelia, Sara, Heather, and Jenni for the first part of their discussion about their experiences with and the causes and effects of Good Girl Syndrome.

Resources

• And They Were Not Ashamed by Laura Brotherson
• The Mormon Missionary Position
• Passionate Hearts edited by Wendy Maltz
• Intimate Kisses edited by Wendy Maltz
• The Soul of Sex by Thomas Moore
• Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
• Women's Therapy Center on Vulvar Vestibulitis
• Do Atheists Have Better Sex Lives? 
• Mormon Stories: 245 Pornography, Masturbation, Sex and Marriage in Mormonism
• Mormon Stories: 214-216 LDS Female Sexuality with Dr Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
• Mormon Stories: 300-301: LDS Women and Sexual Desire with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
• Mormon Stories: 280: How to Have Better Sex in Your Mormon Marriage
• Mormon Expression: Episode 120a: Female Sexuality in the LDS Culture Part 1
• Mormon Expression: Episode 120b: Female Sexuality in the LDS Culture Part 2

Episode 26: The Layers of Sex Education

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"Teach Your Baby about the Birds & the Bees" Mobile

What were you taught about sexuality by your parents, in school, and at church? Could you name your genitals correctly as a child? How did you gain your most valuable knowledge about sexuality? Often, sex education fails to empower women about their sexuality and instead makes them feel that they need to be the gatekeepers of chastity and keep the boys in line. In this panel discussion, Sybil, Sara, Juliane, and Heather discuss their experiences with and hopes for sex education.

Resources

• A Parent's Guide Church Manual
• "Teaching about Procreation and Chastity" in the Family Home Evening Resource Manual 
• Woman: An Intimate Geography by Natalie Angier
• Mormon Missionary Position blog

If you have ideas, stories, or suggestions for Sara's Mormon Sex Ed project, email her at mormonsexedproject @ gmail.com

Episode 25: "Sacred all the way through" — Owning Her Lesbian Self Part II

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Art by Marcia Snedecor

Here is the second half of the interview with Stacey where she tells about coming out as a lesbian, getting her master's degree, continuing her relationship with her husband through their divorce and departure from the church, and finding her feet as a whole self.

To leave comments and for resources, please see Part I of Stacey's story.

As you leave comments, remember that Daughters of Mormonism seeks to provide a safe place for women to share their stories. This is a real story from a real person. Please see the Comment Policy for further details.

Episode 24: "Sacred all the way through" — Owning Her Lesbian Self Part I

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Art by Marcia Snedecor

After her mother converted to Mormonism, Stacey was baptized a member of the church at age eight. The church offered her a place of safety and stability in the midst of difficult family life. She went on to attend BYU, serve a mission, marry a returned missionary in the temple, and have four children. But all the while, she knew she was different. No matter how much she threw herself into being the best possible Mormon, there was always something hiding below the surface ... that she was a lesbian.

Stacey will be watching the comments so she can respond to questions and discuss issues brought up in her story. 

As you leave comments, remember that Daughters of Mormonism seeks to provide a safe place for women to share their stories. This is a real story from a real person. Please see the Comment Policy for further details.

Resources from Stacey

Support Groups

• Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons: Women's Links
• Mormon Lesbian Big Tent Support Group
• Mormon Lesbian Yahoo Group

Books & Articles

• Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd
• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
• There's Nothing Wrong with You by Cheri Huber
• Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine
• Article on The Key to Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine
• The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris
• Wikipedia article on panopticon tower structure
• Refuge by Terry Tempest Williams and a review of Refuge
• Review of The God We Never Knew by Marcus Borg

TED Talks

• "The Power of Vulnerability" TED Talk by Brene Brown 
• "Suddenly, my body" TED Talk by Eve Ensler, the author of the Vagina Monologues

Religious Exploration

• Belief-O-Matic "What's Your Faith?" Quiz which takes you through about 20 questions to see where your personal beliefs align with various faiths

Episode 15: "Not in Conflict" — Jenni's Story

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Part of the aim of this podcast is to give voice to our stories as Daughters of Mormonism. This episode is an interview with Jenni, one of our panelists. She shares her journey through marrying a divorced man with a child, her miscarriages, and her integrated belief system of paganism and Mormonism.

Jenni will be watching the comments to answer questions or discuss issues raised in her interview.


Links from Jenni's interview:

• Integrated Path post on Jenni's Blog
• Mormon Stories Podcast on Masonry and Mormonism
• MO 2.0 Facebook Group 
• LDS WAVE: Women Advocating for Voice and Equality
• The Crunchy Mormon Forum (also "The Coven" inside that form)
• The Mother Wheel
• Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd
• Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler