Episode 44: The Pain of Patriarchy: "A Structural Flaw"

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In this episode from The Pain of Patriarchy series, Amelia shares her experience.

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Episode 42: "Elementally You" — Depression & Mormon Women Part III

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Art by Jarosław Kubick

In the final segment of our discussion, we talk about ways we hid our depression or magnified our depression (what made things worse) and ways we helped our depression (what made things better).

The panelists will be watching the comments to respond to questions.

Here is a summary of the resources and other things that helped us.

Process:

• Name the problem
• Identify root causes (often things from the past) and work through them
• Figure out what triggers depressive episodes
• Remove triggers (get out of situations that make things worse)
• Build relationship spaces where you can find happiness and peace and emotional strength ("family" by choice)
• Choose your spirituality and interaction with the church
• Get out of overly-stressful or abusive situations and take care of yourself
• Become an advocate, speak up

Techniques:

• Journal writing and blogging
• Writing in supportive communities (online forums)
• Creating: Art, music (eg. playing piano), dance (eg. choreography), crochet, etc.
• Therapy, working through the past
• Movement
• Breathing
• Focusing on sensory input from the five senses to come to the present moment
• Yoga
• Energy healing: BodyTalk
• Getting out to the things that are "elementally you" (eg. hike the petroglyphs)
• Spend time outdoors, get outside when the spiral down starts
• Using prayer as contemplative reflection
• Identifying the good and the beautiful
• Massage and chiropractic
• Hot showers
• Light therapy and vitamin D
• Reading books on topics that pertain to your hurt

Food Related

• GAPS diet
• Candida Cleanse
• Eating potatoes before bed (with no protein) to help to raise serotonin levels

Books, Audio, and Online Resources

• "The Soul in Depression" from On Being with Krista Tippett (audio)
• Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel
• An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison
• The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
  
• The Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Lerner
  
• Mood Cure by Julia Ross
• The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen
• Come to Your Senses by Stanley Block and Carolyn Block
• Move Your Body Tone Your Mood by Kate F. Hays
• Eating in the Light of the Moon by Anita Johnston
• Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression by Andrew Solomon
• Women who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés 
• Solace for Mothers online forum

Episode 41: "Walking the Labyrinth" — Depression & Mormon Women Part II

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Art by Karim Fakhoury

In the second part of this panel discussion, Sybil, Amelia, Jenne A, Lisa, and Kendhal discuss situational vs chemical depression, accepting and owning their depression, and vivid dreams that lead to understanding aspects of the self.

We also talk about the mentality of "there's one right way to deal with this" and how that doesn't work with depression; how there is a need to find what works for you, moment to moment.

We then discuss medication and depression and the stigmas attached both to taking it and not taking it, trying to find medication that works, weaning off medications. We also talk about therapy.

To comment and for resources, please see Part III.

Episode 40: "Be Yourself (within certain parameters)" — Depression & Mormon Women Part I

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Art by Adam Martinakis

Despite how common depression is, there is a lot of denial and secrecy attached to it. In this panel, Sybil is joined by panelists Amelia and Jenne A, and guests Lisa and Kendahl to discuss their experiences in living with depression.

In this first part, we discuss depression in Utah and how  the idea of being a perfect Mormon woman can contribute to depression. We also talk about our own symptoms of depression. Here is a list of those symptoms:

Symptoms of Depression

• apathy and detachment; difficulty connecting with the living world and being a part of what is happening
• a sense of powerlessness
• inward blaming, self-faulting, feeling worthless
• excessive sleeping; also insomnia or difficulty sleeping; being highly self-critical
• physical numbness or pain
• asthma and breathing problems
• mental darkness; feeling under a low ceiling
• difficulty getting out of bed
• self isolation; being tense and withdrawn
• irritable bowel syndrome
• migraines
• feeling like the body is falling apart; feeling old and in pain
• constant hopelessness; feeling unable to make life feel worthwhile
• eating too much or too little
• disrupted daily living
• being mean/angry at people you love
• helpless crying
• absence of appetite (for food, sex, things that usually bring pleasure)
• escaping (into food, television, books, etc.)
• inability to concentrate or focus; inability to "get things done" (normal, daily things)
• being emotionally numb or overly dramatic (no middle ground or normal functioning)
• being an appendage to someone else, not able to be the main character in own life (things happening to you rather than being an active agent)
• feeling suicidal 

To comment and for resources, please see Part III.

Episode 31: Good Girl Syndrome Part II

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Many of us learned to be "good girls," meaning that we understood that our purpose was to please others and not to please ourselves. Layered in with this teaching were messages about sex and sexuality.

We didn't want to be chewed gum or a licked cupcake. We wanted to keep ourselves safe from the sexual urges of the opposite sex. And, of course, not to be sexual ourselves; that was associated with sinning.

While these messages were likely intended to keep us safe, they did so at a cost,
which usually reveals itself in the marriage
bed. What does a good girl do with sex?

Join Sybil, Amelia, Sara, Heather, and Jenni for the second half of their discussion about their experiences with and the causes and effects of Good Girl Syndrome.

For resources and to comment, please see Part I.

Episode 30: Good Girl Syndrome Part I

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Join Sybil, Amelia, Sara, Heather, and Jenni for the first part of their discussion about their experiences with and the causes and effects of Good Girl Syndrome.

Resources

• And They Were Not Ashamed by Laura Brotherson
• The Mormon Missionary Position
• Passionate Hearts edited by Wendy Maltz
• Intimate Kisses edited by Wendy Maltz
• The Soul of Sex by Thomas Moore
• Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
• Women's Therapy Center on Vulvar Vestibulitis
• Do Atheists Have Better Sex Lives? 
• Mormon Stories: 245 Pornography, Masturbation, Sex and Marriage in Mormonism
• Mormon Stories: 214-216 LDS Female Sexuality with Dr Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
• Mormon Stories: 300-301: LDS Women and Sexual Desire with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
• Mormon Stories: 280: How to Have Better Sex in Your Mormon Marriage
• Mormon Expression: Episode 120a: Female Sexuality in the LDS Culture Part 1
• Mormon Expression: Episode 120b: Female Sexuality in the LDS Culture Part 2

Episode 13: Finding the Divine Feminine, Part II

PART II
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Art by Francene Hart

This is the second half of our panel discussion on the female divine. In this discussion, Sybil, Sara, Amelia, Juliane, Heather, and Katrina continue their conversation about Mother in Heaven, Heavenly Mother, Goddess, the Divine Feminine.

The panelists will be watching the comments to answer questions and discuss issues raised during the discussion.

If you have ideas for a second panel discussion on the Divine Feminine, please share your thoughts in the comments.

For resources and references, see Part I of this discussion.  

Episode 12: Finding the Divine Feminine, Part I

PART I
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Art by Francene Hart

In this panel discussion, you'll hear Sybil, Sara, Amelia, Juliane, Heather, and Katrina talk about Mother in Heaven, Heavenly Mother, Goddess, the Divine Feminine.

The panelists will be watching the comments to answer questions and discuss issues raised during the discussion.

Here are references and resources for this topic, several of which were cited or mentioned in the panel discussion.

• "A Mother There" A Survey of Historical Teachings about Mother in Heaven by David L. Paulsen and Martin Pulido
• Mormon Matters podcast Heavenly Mother in Today's Mormonism: Discussing the BYU Studies article "A Mother There"
• Review of Paulsen and Pulido's "A Mother There" by RT at Faith Promoting Rumor 
• Is There a Place for Heavenly Mother in Mormon Theology?: An Investigation into Discourses of Power by Margaret Toscano
• How to Worship Our Mother in Heaven (Without Getting Excommunicated) by Kevin L. Barney 
• God As Mother by Carrie A. Miles
• The Mormon Concept of a Mother in Heaven by Linda Wilcox
• The Genesis of Gender, or Why Mother in Heaven Can't Save You by Carrie A. Miles (followed by) If I Hate My Mother, Can I Love the Heavenly Mother? Personal Identity, Parental Relationships and Perceptions of God by Margaret Toscano
• Reflections On God The Mother by Julie Nicholes (followed by) Native American Concepts of a Mother in Heaven Bonnie Mitchelle (followed by) A Response by Suzanne Lundquist
• Feminist Episcopalian podcast: Circle Connections 
• Mother Wove the Morning by Carol Lynn Pearson
• Introduction from Mother Wove the Morning by Carol Lynn Pearson 
• Emerging Discourse on the Divine Feminine compiled by Maxine Hanks
• Personal Discourse on the God the Mother by Martha Pierce
• Daughters of God by Gordon B. Hinckley

Episode 7: "No Room For Fear" — Amelia's Story

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Part of the aim of this podcast is to give voice to our stories as Daughters of Mormonism. This episode is an interview with Amelia, who will be one of our panelists for future discussions. She shares her journey to this point and talks particularly about Proposition 8 and having a voice that is heard.

Amelia will be watching the comments to answer questions or discuss issues raised in her talk.

• On Being  hosted by Krista Tippett (the archives include all the shows from when it was know as "Speaking of Faith" also)
• "The Soul in Depression" from On Being
• "A Wild Love for the World" with Joanna Macy, from On Being
• "The Vitality of the Struggle" with Terry Tempest Williams, from On Being
• "Heretics" from This American Life
• Pema Chodron on Bill Moyers' On Faith & Reason
• Refuge by Terry Tempest Williams
• Rilke's Book of Hours: Love Poems to God  (trans. Joanna Macy and Anita Barrows)
• Dickinson's 508/353 "I'm ceded..."
• Dickinson's 632/598 "The Brain -- is wider than the Sky"
• Stephen Prothero "Against the 'Answer Bank' Theory of Religion"