Your words about feeling like you didn't fit in with the kingdom of God really rang true for me. While I did blend in and be quiet for the most part (didn't have your courage in my early years), I always felt that at any moment, I would be found out as being "not the right kind of woman." It is so sad to me to look back on how much I felt "not good enough." I still struggle with this. Having been visiting my family recently, and being back in my childhood setting, I was amazed at how much those roots are still there, how much pain is still tied to the expectations of family and leaders.