Episode 49: Passing the Torch

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There are so many women from all over the world, both in and out of Mormonism who listen to this podcast. Each of you has much to share. Every week I get emails from you, telling me about your life journeys, about your pain and triumphs, about how one of the episodes on the podcast helped you or validated you. Many of you have sent me ideas for podcasts, too. Because, really, for women’s issues in religion, there is endless territory to cover. In these episodes I’ve done, I haven’t even scratched the surface.

There is so, so much still to be spoken. I want to hear your voices. I want to hear your stories. And there is more out there than I could ever cover. I’ve known this time was coming, and now it’s finally here.

It’s time for me to move on from this podcast. It's time for me to turn my heart energies elsewhere. It’s time for me to pass the torch to you.

In the final episode, I’ll give you a tutorial about how to create a podcast.
 

Art by Jan Morgan Wood

Episode 48: The Pain of Patriarchy: "To Create an Equal World"

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In this episode from The Pain of Patriarchy series, Katrina shares her experience.

Child's Drawing for a Better and Gender Equal World

Episode 47: The Pain of Patriarchy: "Seen As Less Than"

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In this episode from The Pain of Patriarchy series, Tiffany shares her experience.

Art by Tertius Alio

Episode 46: The Pain of Patriarchy: "Their Fruits Don't Nourish Me"

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In this episode from The Pain of Patriarchy series, Sara shares her experience.

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Episode 45: The Pain of Patriarchy: "Possibly Condemned"

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In this episode from The Pain of Patriarchy series, Courtney shares her experience.

Art by James Christensen

Episode 44: The Pain of Patriarchy: "A Structural Flaw"

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In this episode from The Pain of Patriarchy series, Amelia shares her experience.

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Episode 43: The Pain of Patriarchy: "An Iceberg Beneath"

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Photograph by Jonathan Green

About a year ago, I recorded a piece about the pain I feel from being raised under patriarchy. I never had the courage to post it because it felt so vulnerable. It wasn't until a friend of mine expressed her pain at awakening to the crushing weight of patriarchy that I revisited that recording and shared it with her. Together, we decided to create a series about the pain of patriarchy, as this is an experience that is common to many women in the church. This episode contains my original recording.

In the following episodes for this series, you will hear the voices of Amelia, Courtney, Sara, Tiffany, and Katrina. Each of these women gives a different perspective and voice to her journey.

Below, you can also hear an added male perspective from Gail.

The Pain of Patriarchy: "The Men Give the Equality to the Women" — Gail

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*As always, thanks to Kevin MacLeod for the music.

Episode 40: "Be Yourself (within certain parameters)" — Depression & Mormon Women Part I

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Art by Adam Martinakis

Despite how common depression is, there is a lot of denial and secrecy attached to it. In this panel, Sybil is joined by panelists Amelia and Jenne A, and guests Lisa and Kendahl to discuss their experiences in living with depression.

In this first part, we discuss depression in Utah and how  the idea of being a perfect Mormon woman can contribute to depression. We also talk about our own symptoms of depression. Here is a list of those symptoms:

Symptoms of Depression

• apathy and detachment; difficulty connecting with the living world and being a part of what is happening
• a sense of powerlessness
• inward blaming, self-faulting, feeling worthless
• excessive sleeping; also insomnia or difficulty sleeping; being highly self-critical
• physical numbness or pain
• asthma and breathing problems
• mental darkness; feeling under a low ceiling
• difficulty getting out of bed
• self isolation; being tense and withdrawn
• irritable bowel syndrome
• migraines
• feeling like the body is falling apart; feeling old and in pain
• constant hopelessness; feeling unable to make life feel worthwhile
• eating too much or too little
• disrupted daily living
• being mean/angry at people you love
• helpless crying
• absence of appetite (for food, sex, things that usually bring pleasure)
• escaping (into food, television, books, etc.)
• inability to concentrate or focus; inability to "get things done" (normal, daily things)
• being emotionally numb or overly dramatic (no middle ground or normal functioning)
• being an appendage to someone else, not able to be the main character in own life (things happening to you rather than being an active agent)
• feeling suicidal 

To comment and for resources, please see Part III.

Episode 39: Childless by Choice Part II

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In the second part of the discussion, Sybil, Amy, and Shelby talk about how they've thought being mothers and alternatives to bearing children.

* By having this conversation, we are in no way saying that motherhood or children are wrong or undesirable. We are only expressing our own experiences.

For resources and references, and to comment on this panel discussion, please see Part I.

Episode 38: Childless by Choice Part I

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Because motherhood and having children are such an intrinsic part of the way women are defined in the church, trying to have a conversation among those who have chosen not to have children ... it can be difficult. In some ways, child-free women can feel marginalized and/or invisible in the church because they aren't "fulfilling their purpose" as a mother.

In this panel discussion, Sybil is joined by guest panelists Amy and Shelby to talk about their experiences as women who have currently chosen not to have children. They also discuss how they remain childless, their fears and thoughts about motherhood, and more.

* By having this conversation, we are in no way saying that motherhood or children are wrong or undesirable. We are only expressing our own experiences.

The panelists will be watching the comments to respond to ideas and issues brought up in this discussion. 

Resources

• The Childless By Choice Project
• The Childfree Life Forum
• Two Is Enough: A Couple's Guide to Living Childless by Choice
• Inspiration for Childless and Childfree Women: Big Deal?
• Things You Should Never Say to a Person Who is Childless by Choice by DefyGravity 
• Childfree in the Church by Cha Cha from Feminist Mormon Housewives

References

"One of our family members recently overheard a young couple on an airline flight explaining that they chose to have a dog instead of children. 'Dogs are less trouble,' they declared. 'Dogs don’t talk back, and we never have to ground them.' We rejoice that so many Latter-day Saint couples are among that unselfish group who are willing to surrender their personal priorities and serve the Lord by bearing and rearing the children our Heavenly Father sends to their care. (from "Unselfish Service" by Dallin Oaks)

"How can mothers justify their abandonment of home when they are needed so much by their offspring? Rationalization must take over as they justify themselves in leaving home and children." (from Faith Precedes the Miracle by Spencer W. Kimball, pages 116-17.)

Episode 31: Good Girl Syndrome Part II

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Many of us learned to be "good girls," meaning that we understood that our purpose was to please others and not to please ourselves. Layered in with this teaching were messages about sex and sexuality.

We didn't want to be chewed gum or a licked cupcake. We wanted to keep ourselves safe from the sexual urges of the opposite sex. And, of course, not to be sexual ourselves; that was associated with sinning.

While these messages were likely intended to keep us safe, they did so at a cost,
which usually reveals itself in the marriage
bed. What does a good girl do with sex?

Join Sybil, Amelia, Sara, Heather, and Jenni for the second half of their discussion about their experiences with and the causes and effects of Good Girl Syndrome.

For resources and to comment, please see Part I.

Episode 30: Good Girl Syndrome Part I

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Join Sybil, Amelia, Sara, Heather, and Jenni for the first part of their discussion about their experiences with and the causes and effects of Good Girl Syndrome.

Resources

• And They Were Not Ashamed by Laura Brotherson
• The Mormon Missionary Position
• Passionate Hearts edited by Wendy Maltz
• Intimate Kisses edited by Wendy Maltz
• The Soul of Sex by Thomas Moore
• Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
• Women's Therapy Center on Vulvar Vestibulitis
• Do Atheists Have Better Sex Lives? 
• Mormon Stories: 245 Pornography, Masturbation, Sex and Marriage in Mormonism
• Mormon Stories: 214-216 LDS Female Sexuality with Dr Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
• Mormon Stories: 300-301: LDS Women and Sexual Desire with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
• Mormon Stories: 280: How to Have Better Sex in Your Mormon Marriage
• Mormon Expression: Episode 120a: Female Sexuality in the LDS Culture Part 1
• Mormon Expression: Episode 120b: Female Sexuality in the LDS Culture Part 2

Episode 21: No rest for the busy

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Art by Jim Thompson

There is a common saying that there is no rest for the wicked. What about for the righteous? Especially those who are so righteous, they are constantly engaged in "the Lord's work"? Ah, yes, the Lord's work. Didn't Jesus say something about come unto me and I will give you rest? In this podcast, I talk about the issue of busyness in Mormonism. I also alert listeners that this podcast will be undergoing some changes as I step back from the project. This means that it will be publishing every other week rather than every week.

References

• Comments from Episode 18: "Looking for Balance" — Courtney's Story
• Wives and Daughters of the First Presidency panel discussion: Excerpts from the 1996 and 1999 Brigham Young University Women's Conference
• Charity Never Faileth by Thomas Monson (Note: To hear the part I'm quoting, which is near the beginning of his address, you need to listen to the audio or watch the video. The transcript cuts this part of his talk.)

Episode 13: Finding the Divine Feminine, Part II

PART II
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Art by Francene Hart

This is the second half of our panel discussion on the female divine. In this discussion, Sybil, Sara, Amelia, Juliane, Heather, and Katrina continue their conversation about Mother in Heaven, Heavenly Mother, Goddess, the Divine Feminine.

The panelists will be watching the comments to answer questions and discuss issues raised during the discussion.

If you have ideas for a second panel discussion on the Divine Feminine, please share your thoughts in the comments.

For resources and references, see Part I of this discussion.  

Episode 12: Finding the Divine Feminine, Part I

PART I
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Art by Francene Hart

In this panel discussion, you'll hear Sybil, Sara, Amelia, Juliane, Heather, and Katrina talk about Mother in Heaven, Heavenly Mother, Goddess, the Divine Feminine.

The panelists will be watching the comments to answer questions and discuss issues raised during the discussion.

Here are references and resources for this topic, several of which were cited or mentioned in the panel discussion.

• "A Mother There" A Survey of Historical Teachings about Mother in Heaven by David L. Paulsen and Martin Pulido
• Mormon Matters podcast Heavenly Mother in Today's Mormonism: Discussing the BYU Studies article "A Mother There"
• Review of Paulsen and Pulido's "A Mother There" by RT at Faith Promoting Rumor 
• Is There a Place for Heavenly Mother in Mormon Theology?: An Investigation into Discourses of Power by Margaret Toscano
• How to Worship Our Mother in Heaven (Without Getting Excommunicated) by Kevin L. Barney 
• God As Mother by Carrie A. Miles
• The Mormon Concept of a Mother in Heaven by Linda Wilcox
• The Genesis of Gender, or Why Mother in Heaven Can't Save You by Carrie A. Miles (followed by) If I Hate My Mother, Can I Love the Heavenly Mother? Personal Identity, Parental Relationships and Perceptions of God by Margaret Toscano
• Reflections On God The Mother by Julie Nicholes (followed by) Native American Concepts of a Mother in Heaven Bonnie Mitchelle (followed by) A Response by Suzanne Lundquist
• Feminist Episcopalian podcast: Circle Connections 
• Mother Wove the Morning by Carol Lynn Pearson
• Introduction from Mother Wove the Morning by Carol Lynn Pearson 
• Emerging Discourse on the Divine Feminine compiled by Maxine Hanks
• Personal Discourse on the God the Mother by Martha Pierce
• Daughters of God by Gordon B. Hinckley

Episode 11: Zilpha from Mormon Expression Interviews Sybil about the Daughters of Mormonism Podcast

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Doorway Upon Doorway

Here's a great special edition! While I was staying in Utah, I had the opportunity to visit Zilpha from Mormon Expression at her recording studio.

During our afternoon together, Zilpha interviewed me about my new project: The Daughters of Mormonism podcast. At the time, I had just posted Sara's interview, so there were only four episodes up.

It is exciting to see how fast this podcast has grown in the short time since that interview. During this episode, we discuss various women's issues in Mormonism, especially as they relate to our own lives, and I give more of my story.

Episode 6: "Not Perfect" — Sara's Mother's Day Talk

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One more special edition! This past weekend, Sara gave a talk for Mother's Day in her parents' ward. She reaches out to mothers in a universal way, giving understanding for why Mother's Day is so hard for so many.

Sara addresses complex issues with our own mothers, the over-emphasis on "perfect mothers," and our Heavenly Mother. She also speaks about the atonement. 

Sara will be watching the comments to answer questions or discuss issues raised in her talk.

Episode 5: More Than Mothers

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Relief Block Print by Stephen Alcorn

This is a special edition for Mother's Day. I wanted to address the unrealistic expectations we place on mothers, which can make Mother's Day a very lonely and sad day for many women. Also, I wanted to acknowledge our Divine Mothers: Mother Earth, Mother Eve, and our Mother in Heaven. Most of all, I hope that all mothers can remember than they are individuals, not only mothers.

I reference Dance of the Dissent Daughter as well as the blog With Your Mutual Approbation.

Episode 2: Responding to Michael Otterson's article: "What Mormon Equality Looks Like"

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Michael Otterson's piece from the Washington Post: "What Mormon Equality Looks Like"


Other responses to this article:

• "What Equality Doesn't Look Like" by Lynnette from Zelophehad's Daughters
• "A Short Post About Equality" by Kristine from By Common Consent
• "Methinks the Non-Women Protest Too Much: On Non-Equality in the Mormon Church" by Amelia from The Exponent 

 
Book: The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd