Episode 42: "Elementally You" — Depression & Mormon Women Part III

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Art by Jarosław Kubick

In the final segment of our discussion, we talk about ways we hid our depression or magnified our depression (what made things worse) and ways we helped our depression (what made things better).

The panelists will be watching the comments to respond to questions.

Here is a summary of the resources and other things that helped us.

Process:

• Name the problem
• Identify root causes (often things from the past) and work through them
• Figure out what triggers depressive episodes
• Remove triggers (get out of situations that make things worse)
• Build relationship spaces where you can find happiness and peace and emotional strength ("family" by choice)
• Choose your spirituality and interaction with the church
• Get out of overly-stressful or abusive situations and take care of yourself
• Become an advocate, speak up

Techniques:

• Journal writing and blogging
• Writing in supportive communities (online forums)
• Creating: Art, music (eg. playing piano), dance (eg. choreography), crochet, etc.
• Therapy, working through the past
• Movement
• Breathing
• Focusing on sensory input from the five senses to come to the present moment
• Yoga
• Energy healing: BodyTalk
• Getting out to the things that are "elementally you" (eg. hike the petroglyphs)
• Spend time outdoors, get outside when the spiral down starts
• Using prayer as contemplative reflection
• Identifying the good and the beautiful
• Massage and chiropractic
• Hot showers
• Light therapy and vitamin D
• Reading books on topics that pertain to your hurt

Food Related

• GAPS diet
• Candida Cleanse
• Eating potatoes before bed (with no protein) to help to raise serotonin levels

Books, Audio, and Online Resources

• "The Soul in Depression" from On Being with Krista Tippett (audio)
• Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel
• An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison
• The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
  
• The Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Lerner
  
• Mood Cure by Julia Ross
• The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen
• Come to Your Senses by Stanley Block and Carolyn Block
• Move Your Body Tone Your Mood by Kate F. Hays
• Eating in the Light of the Moon by Anita Johnston
• Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression by Andrew Solomon
• Women who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés 
• Solace for Mothers online forum

Episode 41: "Walking the Labyrinth" — Depression & Mormon Women Part II

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Art by Karim Fakhoury

In the second part of this panel discussion, Sybil, Amelia, Jenne A, Lisa, and Kendhal discuss situational vs chemical depression, accepting and owning their depression, and vivid dreams that lead to understanding aspects of the self.

We also talk about the mentality of "there's one right way to deal with this" and how that doesn't work with depression; how there is a need to find what works for you, moment to moment.

We then discuss medication and depression and the stigmas attached both to taking it and not taking it, trying to find medication that works, weaning off medications. We also talk about therapy.

To comment and for resources, please see Part III.

Episode 40: "Be Yourself (within certain parameters)" — Depression & Mormon Women Part I

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Art by Adam Martinakis

Despite how common depression is, there is a lot of denial and secrecy attached to it. In this panel, Sybil is joined by panelists Amelia and Jenne A, and guests Lisa and Kendahl to discuss their experiences in living with depression.

In this first part, we discuss depression in Utah and how  the idea of being a perfect Mormon woman can contribute to depression. We also talk about our own symptoms of depression. Here is a list of those symptoms:

Symptoms of Depression

• apathy and detachment; difficulty connecting with the living world and being a part of what is happening
• a sense of powerlessness
• inward blaming, self-faulting, feeling worthless
• excessive sleeping; also insomnia or difficulty sleeping; being highly self-critical
• physical numbness or pain
• asthma and breathing problems
• mental darkness; feeling under a low ceiling
• difficulty getting out of bed
• self isolation; being tense and withdrawn
• irritable bowel syndrome
• migraines
• feeling like the body is falling apart; feeling old and in pain
• constant hopelessness; feeling unable to make life feel worthwhile
• eating too much or too little
• disrupted daily living
• being mean/angry at people you love
• helpless crying
• absence of appetite (for food, sex, things that usually bring pleasure)
• escaping (into food, television, books, etc.)
• inability to concentrate or focus; inability to "get things done" (normal, daily things)
• being emotionally numb or overly dramatic (no middle ground or normal functioning)
• being an appendage to someone else, not able to be the main character in own life (things happening to you rather than being an active agent)
• feeling suicidal 

To comment and for resources, please see Part III.

Episode 35: "Connected to this Life" — Jenne's Story Part II

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Photo Credit

Part of the aim of this podcast is to give voice to our stories as Daughters of Mormonism. This episode is an interview with Jenne, one of our panelists.

In this interview she talks about her journey toward finding her voice as an advocate and discovering her personal mode of spirituality. Jenne began as a Unitarian Universalist, later converting to LDS church in the aftermath of her father's death. Now she calls herself a Universalist Mormon Pagan, and she reaches out with her heart and abilities to help women with childbirth and trauma as she connects to this life through her children.


For resources and to comment, please see Part I.

Episode 34: "Connected to this Life" — Jenne's Story Part I

Right click here to download the mp3.

Jenne will be watching the comments to respond to the ideas brought up in her interview.

Resources and References

• What Dreams May Come by Richard Matheson, BOOK and FILM
• The Science of Mind by Ernest Holmes
• Fighting for Your Marriage by Howard Markman, Scott Stanley, Susan Blumberg
• Empowering Couples Building on Your Strengths by David Olson and Amy Olson 
• First Comes Love by Douglas Brinley and Mark Ogletree
• Women of the Church by Gordon Hinckley
• How Can I Become the Woman of Whom I Dream? by Gordon Hinckley
• Words of the Prophet: Seek Learning by Gordon Hinckley (Special Counsel for Girls heading)
• Mormon Podcast Community
• Mormon Democrats on Facebook
• Solace for Mothers
• Mutual Approbation
• Fair 
• How to Worship Our Mother In Heaven (Without Getting Excommunicated) by Kevin Barney
• Jenne's blog post on the above article
• Yoga of Christ by Philip McLemore
• Women and Authority edited by Maxine Hanks
• Mother Wheel
• Yo Gabba Gabba

Special thanks to Carolyn Erigero for taking care of "cute but determined" during the recording of this interview.

Episode 29: "A Religion of Compassion" — Amber and Her Miscarriages

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Amber has traveled a path through Mormonism where she tried to follow every commandment, suggestion, and piece of advice that the church had to offer. She married and had two children in short order. What followed were three babies lost within a year after priesthood blessings assuring that they would live. These experiences, combined with other factors in her life, have led Amber on a path of finding what she truly believes, which is to reach out to those around her with compassion.

Amber will be watching the comments to respond  to her story.

As you leave comments, remember that Daughters of Mormonism seeks to provide a safe place for women to share their stories. This is a real story from a real person. Please see the Comment Policy for further details.

Universe Embryo by fresco-child

Posts from Amber's Blog

First Miscarriage

• Sudden Loss

Second Miscarriage

• Living On Faith
• My Ambiguous Loss
• Moving Forward
• A Slow Healing Process
• Repose

Third Miscarriage

• What do you say?
• The Elephant

Resources & References

• Antonia Fraser
• The Feminine Mystique
• Zelophehad's Daughters
• Mormon Stories Podcast
• Feminist Mormon Housewives
• By Common Consent
• The Exponent
• “Parents in Zion will be held responsible for the acts of their children, not only until they become eight years old but, perhaps, throughout all the lives of their children, provided they have neglected their duty to their children while they were under their care and guidance, and the parents were responsible for them.” (Joseph F. Smith quoted by Benson) 

Episode 27: "I came out of the womb singing" — The Divine Worth of a Lesbian

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Art by Mara Berendt Friedman

As a teen, Janice converted to the LDS church as part of an attempt to cure herself of her lesbianism. She served a mission and married in the temple as part of her determination to be "fixed." Her journey to find her whole self — the wild woman, the lesbian, the feminist — led her into the depths of depression and to the brink of taking her own life where she was gifted with a deep realization that God loved her.

Janice will be watching the comments so she can respond to questions and issues brought up in her story.

As you leave comments, remember that Daughters of Mormonism seeks to provide a safe place for women to share their stories. This is a real story from a real person. Please see the Comment Policy for further details.

Janice's Recommended Resources

• Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
• Mormon Stories Podcast hosted by John Delin
• Mormon Matters Podcast hosted by Dan Wotherspoon
• Ask Mormon Girl by Joanna Brooks
• Dialogue: Journal of Mormon Thought
• Sunstone Magazine
• Affirmation.org for Gay and Lesbian Mormons
• Stonewall Center

You can contact Janice at outofthewombsinging @ gmail.com

Episode 21: No rest for the busy

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Art by Jim Thompson

There is a common saying that there is no rest for the wicked. What about for the righteous? Especially those who are so righteous, they are constantly engaged in "the Lord's work"? Ah, yes, the Lord's work. Didn't Jesus say something about come unto me and I will give you rest? In this podcast, I talk about the issue of busyness in Mormonism. I also alert listeners that this podcast will be undergoing some changes as I step back from the project. This means that it will be publishing every other week rather than every week.

References

• Comments from Episode 18: "Looking for Balance" — Courtney's Story
• Wives and Daughters of the First Presidency panel discussion: Excerpts from the 1996 and 1999 Brigham Young University Women's Conference
• Charity Never Faileth by Thomas Monson (Note: To hear the part I'm quoting, which is near the beginning of his address, you need to listen to the audio or watch the video. The transcript cuts this part of his talk.)

Episode 20: "I have found my violin" — Motherhood vs. Education & Career, Part II

PART II
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Motherhood by Ann Gardner

This is the second half of the interview with Beatrice where she discusses her life after having her child and how she found balance between motherhood and her passion for research and teaching.

What have been your experiences in finding a balance between motherhood and your own dreams and passions?

Beatrice will be watching the comments to answer questions or discuss issues raised in her interview.

For resources and references,
see Part I of this interview.

Episode 19: "I have found my violin" — Motherhood vs. Education & Career, Part I

PART I
Right click to download the mp3.

Violet and Her Violin by Ann Gardner

Much has been said about the role of motherhood. Ezra Taft Benson, in particular, spoke at length about women's roles. Because of the strong directive to stay at home and be mothers, many women have felt conflict over desires to pursue educational and career opportunities. More recently, leaders have spoken of the importance of women getting a good education.

In this two-part episode, Beatrice shares her passion for teaching and research as she tells about getting her PhD and having her first child. She compares her strong drive toward pursuing her dreams to the intimate passion a violinist feels for her violin.


What have been your experiences in finding a balance 
between motherhood and your own dreams and passions? 

Beatrice will be watching the comments to answer questions or discuss issues raised in her interview.

Resources from Beatrice

• Beatrice's Blog: Both Sides Now
• Hi, I'm Emily! from the recent Mormon Ad Campaign
• LDS Family Ideals versus the Equality of Women:Navigating the Changes Since 1957 by Carrie A. Miles
• My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok
• The Chosen by Chaim Potok

The Crosswicks Journals by Madeline L'Engle

• A Circle of Quiet
• The Summer of the Great-Grandmother
• The Irrational Season
• Two Part Invention: The Story of Marriage