Episode 42: "Elementally You" — Depression & Mormon Women Part III

Right click here to download the mp3.

Art by Jarosław Kubick

In the final segment of our discussion, we talk about ways we hid our depression or magnified our depression (what made things worse) and ways we helped our depression (what made things better).

The panelists will be watching the comments to respond to questions.

Here is a summary of the resources and other things that helped us.

Process:

• Name the problem
• Identify root causes (often things from the past) and work through them
• Figure out what triggers depressive episodes
• Remove triggers (get out of situations that make things worse)
• Build relationship spaces where you can find happiness and peace and emotional strength ("family" by choice)
• Choose your spirituality and interaction with the church
• Get out of overly-stressful or abusive situations and take care of yourself
• Become an advocate, speak up

Techniques:

• Journal writing and blogging
• Writing in supportive communities (online forums)
• Creating: Art, music (eg. playing piano), dance (eg. choreography), crochet, etc.
• Therapy, working through the past
• Movement
• Breathing
• Focusing on sensory input from the five senses to come to the present moment
• Yoga
• Energy healing: BodyTalk
• Getting out to the things that are "elementally you" (eg. hike the petroglyphs)
• Spend time outdoors, get outside when the spiral down starts
• Using prayer as contemplative reflection
• Identifying the good and the beautiful
• Massage and chiropractic
• Hot showers
• Light therapy and vitamin D
• Reading books on topics that pertain to your hurt

Food Related

• GAPS diet
• Candida Cleanse
• Eating potatoes before bed (with no protein) to help to raise serotonin levels

Books, Audio, and Online Resources

• "The Soul in Depression" from On Being with Krista Tippett (audio)
• Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel
• An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison
• The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
  
• The Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Lerner
  
• Mood Cure by Julia Ross
• The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen
• Come to Your Senses by Stanley Block and Carolyn Block
• Move Your Body Tone Your Mood by Kate F. Hays
• Eating in the Light of the Moon by Anita Johnston
• Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression by Andrew Solomon
• Women who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés 
• Solace for Mothers online forum

Episode 41: "Walking the Labyrinth" — Depression & Mormon Women Part II

Right click here to download the mp3.

Art by Karim Fakhoury

In the second part of this panel discussion, Sybil, Amelia, Jenne A, Lisa, and Kendhal discuss situational vs chemical depression, accepting and owning their depression, and vivid dreams that lead to understanding aspects of the self.

We also talk about the mentality of "there's one right way to deal with this" and how that doesn't work with depression; how there is a need to find what works for you, moment to moment.

We then discuss medication and depression and the stigmas attached both to taking it and not taking it, trying to find medication that works, weaning off medications. We also talk about therapy.

To comment and for resources, please see Part III.

Episode 40: "Be Yourself (within certain parameters)" — Depression & Mormon Women Part I

Right click here to download the mp3.

Art by Adam Martinakis

Despite how common depression is, there is a lot of denial and secrecy attached to it. In this panel, Sybil is joined by panelists Amelia and Jenne A, and guests Lisa and Kendahl to discuss their experiences in living with depression.

In this first part, we discuss depression in Utah and how  the idea of being a perfect Mormon woman can contribute to depression. We also talk about our own symptoms of depression. Here is a list of those symptoms:

Symptoms of Depression

• apathy and detachment; difficulty connecting with the living world and being a part of what is happening
• a sense of powerlessness
• inward blaming, self-faulting, feeling worthless
• excessive sleeping; also insomnia or difficulty sleeping; being highly self-critical
• physical numbness or pain
• asthma and breathing problems
• mental darkness; feeling under a low ceiling
• difficulty getting out of bed
• self isolation; being tense and withdrawn
• irritable bowel syndrome
• migraines
• feeling like the body is falling apart; feeling old and in pain
• constant hopelessness; feeling unable to make life feel worthwhile
• eating too much or too little
• disrupted daily living
• being mean/angry at people you love
• helpless crying
• absence of appetite (for food, sex, things that usually bring pleasure)
• escaping (into food, television, books, etc.)
• inability to concentrate or focus; inability to "get things done" (normal, daily things)
• being emotionally numb or overly dramatic (no middle ground or normal functioning)
• being an appendage to someone else, not able to be the main character in own life (things happening to you rather than being an active agent)
• feeling suicidal 

To comment and for resources, please see Part III.

Episode 39: Childless by Choice Part II

Right click here to download the mp3.

Image location

In the second part of the discussion, Sybil, Amy, and Shelby talk about how they've thought being mothers and alternatives to bearing children.

* By having this conversation, we are in no way saying that motherhood or children are wrong or undesirable. We are only expressing our own experiences.

For resources and references, and to comment on this panel discussion, please see Part I.

Episode 38: Childless by Choice Part I

Right click here to download the mp3.

Image location

Because motherhood and having children are such an intrinsic part of the way women are defined in the church, trying to have a conversation among those who have chosen not to have children ... it can be difficult. In some ways, child-free women can feel marginalized and/or invisible in the church because they aren't "fulfilling their purpose" as a mother.

In this panel discussion, Sybil is joined by guest panelists Amy and Shelby to talk about their experiences as women who have currently chosen not to have children. They also discuss how they remain childless, their fears and thoughts about motherhood, and more.

* By having this conversation, we are in no way saying that motherhood or children are wrong or undesirable. We are only expressing our own experiences.

The panelists will be watching the comments to respond to ideas and issues brought up in this discussion. 

Resources

• The Childless By Choice Project
• The Childfree Life Forum
• Two Is Enough: A Couple's Guide to Living Childless by Choice
• Inspiration for Childless and Childfree Women: Big Deal?
• Things You Should Never Say to a Person Who is Childless by Choice by DefyGravity 
• Childfree in the Church by Cha Cha from Feminist Mormon Housewives

References

"One of our family members recently overheard a young couple on an airline flight explaining that they chose to have a dog instead of children. 'Dogs are less trouble,' they declared. 'Dogs don’t talk back, and we never have to ground them.' We rejoice that so many Latter-day Saint couples are among that unselfish group who are willing to surrender their personal priorities and serve the Lord by bearing and rearing the children our Heavenly Father sends to their care. (from "Unselfish Service" by Dallin Oaks)

"How can mothers justify their abandonment of home when they are needed so much by their offspring? Rationalization must take over as they justify themselves in leaving home and children." (from Faith Precedes the Miracle by Spencer W. Kimball, pages 116-17.)

Episode 37: Re-Visioning the Garment Symbols

Right click here to download the mp3.

Art by Mara Berendt Friedman

Sometimes our thirst for divine reflection of our gender can lead us to fascinating places. In this panel discussion our panelists Jenne A and Jenni B are joined by their friends Jena and Genevieve to present an interpretation of the garment symbols that includes the Divine Feminine. In addition to the meaning they give the symbols, they have also created daily rituals that help them to connect to their garments in a positive way.

The panelists will be watching the comments to respond to ideas and to elaborate on the symbolism and practices they share in the discussion. 



Resources and References

• LDS Endowment (Be advised: This site contains direct wording and description of the Temple Ceremony) 
• Ephesians 6:11-18 (verse 14 about loins girt with truth, verse 16 about the shield)
• 4-part Godhead
• Ideas about Multiple Mortal Probations by Jenne A
• My Search for the Divine Feminine by Ryan Thomas (Exponent article about why people believe that the Spirit might be female: page 25 in this issue) 
• Eve as Balance to Christ from Daughters of Mormonism
• The Sacrament of Birth by Analiesa Leonhardt 
• The Two Trees by Valerie Hudson
• How to Worship Our Mother In Heaven (Without Getting Excommunicated) by Kevin Barney
• Jenne A's blog post on the above article

Two Facebook Groups that Happened as a Result of this Panel Discussion

• Wildly Speculative (Feminist) Mormon Theology 
• Mormon Moon Circle: Once a month on the new moon this group (which includes the women from the panel discussion) hold a "live" meeting where they explore and enhance their spirituality by sharing experiences or epiphanies they’ve had, and doing a group visualization/meditation and prayer circle.

Episode 36: The Descent of the Wounded Soul

Right click here to download the mp3.

Christ of the Abyss

Special Episode for Easter: There are so many of us who hide our wounded souls, fearful that others will see our pain. Often we are drowned in feelings of hopelessness and despair of ever healing.

In this short episode, I give my own interpretation of Christ's atonement and resurrection. In my view, he is showing us the path of our own healing. When Christ said, "Come follow me," perhaps he was showing us the way into our own darkness. 

Isaiah Reference: Isaiah 61:3

Please share your own experiences of wounding and healing in the comments. Please also feel free to share things that have helped you on your journey.

Episode 35: "Connected to this Life" — Jenne's Story Part II

Right click here to download the mp3.

Photo Credit

Part of the aim of this podcast is to give voice to our stories as Daughters of Mormonism. This episode is an interview with Jenne, one of our panelists.

In this interview she talks about her journey toward finding her voice as an advocate and discovering her personal mode of spirituality. Jenne began as a Unitarian Universalist, later converting to LDS church in the aftermath of her father's death. Now she calls herself a Universalist Mormon Pagan, and she reaches out with her heart and abilities to help women with childbirth and trauma as she connects to this life through her children.


For resources and to comment, please see Part I.