Episode 32: "Not Suffering" — Opening Sexual Identity

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Art by Randi Johns

In the recent past, there was only one sexual identity: Heterosexual. It was the norm in such a way that there wasn't really any space in the collective understanding for alternate sexual identities. Today, sexual identity has become a place of discovery, controversy, and question, bringing in terms like gay, lesbian, homosexual, bi-sexual, and transsexual. Julia identifies herself as queer, which is not so much a sexual identity as an approach to sexuality that leaves the "box" wide open. She talks about the freedom that comes from being in a safe place to exist as she is.

Julia will be watching the comments to respond to the ideas brought up in her interview.

As you leave comments, remember that Daughters of Mormonism seeks to provide a safe place for women to share their stories. This is a real story from a real person. Please see the Comment Policy for further details. 

Resources and References

• Queer and Questioning Blog
• PDF download of Trans/gender 101: Terms and Explanations
  
• Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network
• PDF download for Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network "Guide to Being an Ally"
  
• TransChristians
• Affirmation
  
• Gender Trouble by Judith Butler
• Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us by Kate Bornstein
• Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation by Kate Bornstein
• "Cleansing the Inner Vessel" by Boyd K. Packer RECORDED VIDEO
• "Cleansing the Inner Vessel" by Boyd K. Packer EDITED TRANSCRIPT
• ABC News article on the edit  
• Quote from The Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W. Kimball about masturbation leading to homosexuality: "Thus prophets anciently and today condemn masturbation [...] it too often leads to grievous sin, even to that sin against nature, homosexuality. For, done in private, it evolves often into mutual masturbation--practiced with another person of the same sex and thence into total homosexuality."

Episode 31: Good Girl Syndrome Part II

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Image Location

Many of us learned to be "good girls," meaning that we understood that our purpose was to please others and not to please ourselves. Layered in with this teaching were messages about sex and sexuality.

We didn't want to be chewed gum or a licked cupcake. We wanted to keep ourselves safe from the sexual urges of the opposite sex. And, of course, not to be sexual ourselves; that was associated with sinning.

While these messages were likely intended to keep us safe, they did so at a cost,
which usually reveals itself in the marriage
bed. What does a good girl do with sex?

Join Sybil, Amelia, Sara, Heather, and Jenni for the second half of their discussion about their experiences with and the causes and effects of Good Girl Syndrome.

For resources and to comment, please see Part I.

Episode 30: Good Girl Syndrome Part I

Right click here to download the mp3.

Image Location

Join Sybil, Amelia, Sara, Heather, and Jenni for the first part of their discussion about their experiences with and the causes and effects of Good Girl Syndrome.

Resources

• And They Were Not Ashamed by Laura Brotherson
• The Mormon Missionary Position
• Passionate Hearts edited by Wendy Maltz
• Intimate Kisses edited by Wendy Maltz
• The Soul of Sex by Thomas Moore
• Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
• Women's Therapy Center on Vulvar Vestibulitis
• Do Atheists Have Better Sex Lives? 
• Mormon Stories: 245 Pornography, Masturbation, Sex and Marriage in Mormonism
• Mormon Stories: 214-216 LDS Female Sexuality with Dr Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
• Mormon Stories: 300-301: LDS Women and Sexual Desire with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
• Mormon Stories: 280: How to Have Better Sex in Your Mormon Marriage
• Mormon Expression: Episode 120a: Female Sexuality in the LDS Culture Part 1
• Mormon Expression: Episode 120b: Female Sexuality in the LDS Culture Part 2

Episode 29: "A Religion of Compassion" — Amber and Her Miscarriages

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Amber has traveled a path through Mormonism where she tried to follow every commandment, suggestion, and piece of advice that the church had to offer. She married and had two children in short order. What followed were three babies lost within a year after priesthood blessings assuring that they would live. These experiences, combined with other factors in her life, have led Amber on a path of finding what she truly believes, which is to reach out to those around her with compassion.

Amber will be watching the comments to respond  to her story.

As you leave comments, remember that Daughters of Mormonism seeks to provide a safe place for women to share their stories. This is a real story from a real person. Please see the Comment Policy for further details.

Universe Embryo by fresco-child

Posts from Amber's Blog

First Miscarriage

• Sudden Loss

Second Miscarriage

• Living On Faith
• My Ambiguous Loss
• Moving Forward
• A Slow Healing Process
• Repose

Third Miscarriage

• What do you say?
• The Elephant

Resources & References

• Antonia Fraser
• The Feminine Mystique
• Zelophehad's Daughters
• Mormon Stories Podcast
• Feminist Mormon Housewives
• By Common Consent
• The Exponent
• “Parents in Zion will be held responsible for the acts of their children, not only until they become eight years old but, perhaps, throughout all the lives of their children, provided they have neglected their duty to their children while they were under their care and guidance, and the parents were responsible for them.” (Joseph F. Smith quoted by Benson) 

Episode 28: "If any of you lack Sophia" — Anthroposophy and Mormonism

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The Sistine Madonna
by Raphael

In many ways, Julene traveled a traditional path through Mormonism as she raised her children, but when her oldest son decided to be done with the church rather than depart on a mission as she was expecting, she began a journey that lead her toward a world of thought filled with the Divine Feminine.

From the roots given to her subtly by her mother, Julene built further with the Christ-centered philosophy of anthroposophy created by Rudolf Steiner, as she moved toward re-enthroning Sophia in her spiritual life and seeking for a true balance between the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine.

Julene will be watching the comments to respond 
to questions and ideas from her story.

Resources from Julene

Chalice Well at Glastonbury, England

• Heaven on Earth, a Handbook for Parents of Young Children by Sharifa Oppenheimer 
• Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne  
• Radical Homemakers by Shannon Hayes  
• The Sophia Teachings by Robert Powell  
• The Most Holy Trinosophia by Robert Powell  
• Meditations on the Tarot translated by Robert Powell  
• Understanding Waldorf Education: Teaching from the Inside Out by Jack Petrash
• The Sophia Foundation
• “The Deseret Connection,”Abraham in Egypt by Hugh Nibley
• To contact Julene, email her at abellajulene @ gmail.com

Episode 27: "I came out of the womb singing" — The Divine Worth of a Lesbian

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Art by Mara Berendt Friedman

As a teen, Janice converted to the LDS church as part of an attempt to cure herself of her lesbianism. She served a mission and married in the temple as part of her determination to be "fixed." Her journey to find her whole self — the wild woman, the lesbian, the feminist — led her into the depths of depression and to the brink of taking her own life where she was gifted with a deep realization that God loved her.

Janice will be watching the comments so she can respond to questions and issues brought up in her story.

As you leave comments, remember that Daughters of Mormonism seeks to provide a safe place for women to share their stories. This is a real story from a real person. Please see the Comment Policy for further details.

Janice's Recommended Resources

• Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
• Mormon Stories Podcast hosted by John Delin
• Mormon Matters Podcast hosted by Dan Wotherspoon
• Ask Mormon Girl by Joanna Brooks
• Dialogue: Journal of Mormon Thought
• Sunstone Magazine
• Affirmation.org for Gay and Lesbian Mormons
• Stonewall Center

You can contact Janice at outofthewombsinging @ gmail.com

Episode 26: The Layers of Sex Education

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"Teach Your Baby about the Birds & the Bees" Mobile

What were you taught about sexuality by your parents, in school, and at church? Could you name your genitals correctly as a child? How did you gain your most valuable knowledge about sexuality? Often, sex education fails to empower women about their sexuality and instead makes them feel that they need to be the gatekeepers of chastity and keep the boys in line. In this panel discussion, Sybil, Sara, Juliane, and Heather discuss their experiences with and hopes for sex education.

Resources

• A Parent's Guide Church Manual
• "Teaching about Procreation and Chastity" in the Family Home Evening Resource Manual 
• Woman: An Intimate Geography by Natalie Angier
• Mormon Missionary Position blog

If you have ideas, stories, or suggestions for Sara's Mormon Sex Ed project, email her at mormonsexedproject @ gmail.com

Episode 25: "Sacred all the way through" — Owning Her Lesbian Self Part II

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Art by Marcia Snedecor

Here is the second half of the interview with Stacey where she tells about coming out as a lesbian, getting her master's degree, continuing her relationship with her husband through their divorce and departure from the church, and finding her feet as a whole self.

To leave comments and for resources, please see Part I of Stacey's story.

As you leave comments, remember that Daughters of Mormonism seeks to provide a safe place for women to share their stories. This is a real story from a real person. Please see the Comment Policy for further details.

Episode 24: "Sacred all the way through" — Owning Her Lesbian Self Part I

Right click here to download the mp3.

Art by Marcia Snedecor

After her mother converted to Mormonism, Stacey was baptized a member of the church at age eight. The church offered her a place of safety and stability in the midst of difficult family life. She went on to attend BYU, serve a mission, marry a returned missionary in the temple, and have four children. But all the while, she knew she was different. No matter how much she threw herself into being the best possible Mormon, there was always something hiding below the surface ... that she was a lesbian.

Stacey will be watching the comments so she can respond to questions and discuss issues brought up in her story. 

As you leave comments, remember that Daughters of Mormonism seeks to provide a safe place for women to share their stories. This is a real story from a real person. Please see the Comment Policy for further details.

Resources from Stacey

Support Groups

• Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons: Women's Links
• Mormon Lesbian Big Tent Support Group
• Mormon Lesbian Yahoo Group

Books & Articles

• Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd
• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
• There's Nothing Wrong with You by Cheri Huber
• Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine
• Article on The Key to Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine
• The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris
• Wikipedia article on panopticon tower structure
• Refuge by Terry Tempest Williams and a review of Refuge
• Review of The God We Never Knew by Marcus Borg

TED Talks

• "The Power of Vulnerability" TED Talk by Brene Brown 
• "Suddenly, my body" TED Talk by Eve Ensler, the author of the Vagina Monologues

Religious Exploration

• Belief-O-Matic "What's Your Faith?" Quiz which takes you through about 20 questions to see where your personal beliefs align with various faiths

Episode 23: Every 3rd Sunday — Fasting for the Goddess

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Art by Willow Arlenea

A little while ago, Jena contacted me about a project she has started to fast for revelation about Heavenly Mother. In this episode, she tells her story as she grew in her interest and desire to know her Mother God and how she came to start this project. She extends an invitation to fast on the third Sunday of each month for specific and official revelation about Heavenly Mother. For more detail, check out these links:

• Official "Join the Mother Fast" page
• Jena's original post about her project
• Preparing for the July 2011 fast
• Aftermath of the July 2011 fast
• Jena's Blog: Like Unto Eve

Jena will be watching the comments to 
answer questions or discuss issues 
raised in her interview.

Jena's Recommended Resources 
Articles

• "Yes, You Are" by Sarah D. Bunting on Tomato Nation
• "A Mother There" A Survey of Historical Teachings about Mother in Heaven by David L. Paulsen and Martin Pulido
• Nephi and His Asherah by Daniel Peterson 

Books

• Healing Wise by Susan Weed 
• Eve and the Choice Made in Eden by Beverly Campbell
• Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd

Mormon Matters Podcast

• Ritual within Mormonism
• Heavenly Mother in Today's Mormonism
• Mormon Women and Equality
• Mormon Feminism, Women, and Claudia Bushman Part 1
• Mormon Feminism, Women, and Claudia Bushman Part 2
  

Episode 22: "Choices and Options" — Katrina's Story

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Art by Brian Kershisnick

Part of the aim of this podcast is to give voice to our stories as Daughters of Mormonism. This episode is an interview with Katrina, one of our panelists. She shares how her story didn't happen the way she had planned, as she married a divorced man with three children.

When they applied for a sealing clearance so they could marry in the temple, they were denied with no explanation. Katrina moved on from this point to create her own script for her life, including how she would bear her children.

Katrina will be watching the comments to answer questions or discuss issues raised in her interview.



Posts from Katrina's Blog: Musings of a Redhead

• The Story of Miriam's Breech Homebirth
• Birth and Breastfeeding Resources
   
   
• Finding My Inner Feminist Part I
• Finding My Inner Feminist Part II
• Finding My Inner Feminist Part III

Katrina's Photography Websites

• At Mother's Breast Photography Project
• Redbean Photography

Recommended Books

• Mother Wove the Morning by Carol Lynn Pearson
• Introduction to Mother Wove the Morning
• Beginnings and Beyond by Carol Lynn Pearson
• Daughters of Light by Carol Lynn Pearson
• The Flight and the Nest by Carol Lynn Pearson
• Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd

Episode 21: No rest for the busy

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Art by Jim Thompson

There is a common saying that there is no rest for the wicked. What about for the righteous? Especially those who are so righteous, they are constantly engaged in "the Lord's work"? Ah, yes, the Lord's work. Didn't Jesus say something about come unto me and I will give you rest? In this podcast, I talk about the issue of busyness in Mormonism. I also alert listeners that this podcast will be undergoing some changes as I step back from the project. This means that it will be publishing every other week rather than every week.

References

• Comments from Episode 18: "Looking for Balance" — Courtney's Story
• Wives and Daughters of the First Presidency panel discussion: Excerpts from the 1996 and 1999 Brigham Young University Women's Conference
• Charity Never Faileth by Thomas Monson (Note: To hear the part I'm quoting, which is near the beginning of his address, you need to listen to the audio or watch the video. The transcript cuts this part of his talk.)

Episode 20: "I have found my violin" — Motherhood vs. Education & Career, Part II

PART II
Right click to download the mp3.

Motherhood by Ann Gardner

This is the second half of the interview with Beatrice where she discusses her life after having her child and how she found balance between motherhood and her passion for research and teaching.

What have been your experiences in finding a balance between motherhood and your own dreams and passions?

Beatrice will be watching the comments to answer questions or discuss issues raised in her interview.

For resources and references,
see Part I of this interview.

Episode 19: "I have found my violin" — Motherhood vs. Education & Career, Part I

PART I
Right click to download the mp3.

Violet and Her Violin by Ann Gardner

Much has been said about the role of motherhood. Ezra Taft Benson, in particular, spoke at length about women's roles. Because of the strong directive to stay at home and be mothers, many women have felt conflict over desires to pursue educational and career opportunities. More recently, leaders have spoken of the importance of women getting a good education.

In this two-part episode, Beatrice shares her passion for teaching and research as she tells about getting her PhD and having her first child. She compares her strong drive toward pursuing her dreams to the intimate passion a violinist feels for her violin.


What have been your experiences in finding a balance 
between motherhood and your own dreams and passions? 

Beatrice will be watching the comments to answer questions or discuss issues raised in her interview.

Resources from Beatrice

• Beatrice's Blog: Both Sides Now
• Hi, I'm Emily! from the recent Mormon Ad Campaign
• LDS Family Ideals versus the Equality of Women:Navigating the Changes Since 1957 by Carrie A. Miles
• My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok
• The Chosen by Chaim Potok

The Crosswicks Journals by Madeline L'Engle

• A Circle of Quiet
• The Summer of the Great-Grandmother
• The Irrational Season
• Two Part Invention: The Story of Marriage

Episode 18: "Looking for Balance" — Courtney's Story

Right click here to download the mp3.

Art by Gina Rose Halper

Part of the aim of this podcast is to give voice to our stories as Daughters of Mormonism. This episode is an interview with Courtney, one of our panelists.

She shares her path in finding great health and connection with the Earth and the Divine through yoga and Buddhism.

Courtney will be watching the comments to answer questions or discuss issues raised in her interview.

Resources Courtney Recommends:

• The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield
• The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton
• The Wisdom of Yoga by Stephen Cope
• Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon
• Weston A. Price Foundtation
• Little Buddha film
• Mother Wove the Morning by Carol Lynn Pearson
• Zelophehad's Daughters
• The Exponent
• Feminist Mormon Housewives
• Sunstone Magazine
• Dialogue Journal
• Exponent II

Episode 17: "She wasn't a wife for me": Polygamy in Mainstream Mormonism

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Polygamy has been a part of the Mormon church almost from the beginning. Current church policy prohibits the practice of marrying and living with multiple wives, although there are still men who are sealed to multiple women.

This episode is the story of a woman who grew up in mainstream Mormonism and how she and her husband searched for a way to practice the doctrine of the plurality of wives inside the dictates of the church and the law of the land.

Michelle will be watching the comments so she can respond to questions and discuss issues brought up in her story. 

As you leave comments, remember that Daughter of Mormonism seeks to provide a safe place for women to share their stories. This is a real story from a real person. Please see the Comment Policy for further details.

If you would like to learn more about polygamy in the early Mormon church, here are some resources.

Websites

• Remembering the Wives of Joseph Smith 
• Family Search Record for Joseph Smith
• LDS.org entry for Polygamy (Plural Marriage)

Books

• Mormon Enigma: Emma Hale Smith by Linda King Newell and Valeen Tippetts Avery 
• In Sacred Loneliness: The Plural Wives of Joseph Smith by Todd Compton 
• Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling by Richard Lyman Bushman

Podcasts

• Mormon Stories: Intro to Mormon Polygamy with Todd Compton Pt. 1
• Mormon Stories: Intro to Mormon Polygamy with Todd Compton Pt. 2
• Mormon Stories: Intro to Mormon Polygamy with Todd Compton Pt. 3
• Mormon Expression: The Plural Wives of Joseph Smith 
• Mormon Expression: Book Club: Mormon Enigma: Emma Hale Smith
• Mormon Expression: Polygamy Manifesto for Dummies Part 1 
• Mormon Expression: Polygamy Manifesto for Dummies Part 2 

Episode 16: Finding Her Everywhere: Symbols of the Divine Feminine

Right click here to download the mp3.

Female Symbol

Asherah Statue

Recently we did a two part panel discussion about the Divine Feminine. As part of continuing this conversation, this podcast presents different symbols that can remind us of Goddess, Heavenly Mother, and the Female Divine.

In this episode, Jenni takes us on a tour of nature symbols, ancient goddess lore, and elements found inside of Mormonism.


If you have a symbol that helps you connect with the Divine Feminine, please share it in the comments.

Jenni will be watching the comments to answer questions or discuss issues raised in this discussion.

Maiden, Mother, Matriarch

Links on Symbolism & the Divine Feminine

• When God Was a Woman by Merlin Stone
• Contemplating Mother Goddess from Mother Wheel by Jenni
• Nephi and His Asherah by Daniel Peterson  
• How to Worship Our Mother In Heaven (Without Getting Excommunicated) by Kevin Barney
• Sophia of the Proverbs at Mormon Matters by Bored in Vernal
• Serpent Mythology from Mother Wheel by RasJane

Episode 15: "Not in Conflict" — Jenni's Story

Right click here to download the mp3.

Part of the aim of this podcast is to give voice to our stories as Daughters of Mormonism. This episode is an interview with Jenni, one of our panelists. She shares her journey through marrying a divorced man with a child, her miscarriages, and her integrated belief system of paganism and Mormonism.

Jenni will be watching the comments to answer questions or discuss issues raised in her interview.


Links from Jenni's interview:

• Integrated Path post on Jenni's Blog
• Mormon Stories Podcast on Masonry and Mormonism
• MO 2.0 Facebook Group 
• LDS WAVE: Women Advocating for Voice and Equality
• The Crunchy Mormon Forum (also "The Coven" inside that form)
• The Mother Wheel
• Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd
• Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler

Episode 14: "Replanting My Garden" — Heather's Story

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Part of the aim of this podcast is to give voice to our stories as Daughters of Mormonism. This episode is an interview with Heather, one of our panelists. She shares her experiences with unassisted childbirth, "lactivism," the garden of her testimony, and more.

Heather will be watching the comments to answer questions or discuss issues raised in her interview.

Links from Heather's interview:

• The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down by Anne Fadiman
• Applebee's Nurse In 
• Hey Facebook, Breastfeeding isn't Obscene (Official Petition to Facebook)
• Laura Shanley, author of Unassisted Childbirth
• Zelophehad's Daughters
• The Exponent
• Feminist Mormon Housewives
• Dance of the Dissident Daughter
• Mother Wove the Morning
• With Your Mutual Approbation

Heather's Blog Posts:

• Modesty and Breastfeeding 
• Breastfeeding in Church
• Margaret's Birth Story (also published in the book Simply Give Birth)
• Isaac's Birth Story
• Green Garment Campaign